Sprezzatura

It’s an Italian word defined as “a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it.” It’s an Italian style. A fashion statement. And as is the case with how we dress, it’s a public signal to all those we encounter.In practice, sprezzatura means spending time to look like you don’t spend time. Cuffs unbuttoned. Fedora slightly tilted. Maybe shoes untied. Five o’clock shadow. Cigarette.But let’s not think of it as a fashion statement. What if we think of it as a social phenomenon? In other words, social sprezzatura is the public art of being imperfect, flawed, slightly disheveled.There’s a big distance between choosing what to filter and display about our imperfect selves and our uncut, unedited imperfect selves.The former actually hides the latter. The former is not vulnerable and therefore requires no courage.People like us that are unwilling to continue in ways like this know the difference between disingenuous vulnerability and the real thing. The real thing costs. It’s risky. It requires vulnerability. It’s not a style. It’s raw.Who’s your tribe, your team? Who are your people? They don’t need your sprezzatura for the same reasons they don’t need your false perfection. It’s not real.And the world doesn’t need pseudo-real; it needs real-real.