[Tension & Renewal - XVIII]
One of my favorite things about coaching soccer is identifying the coachable players early in the seasons and investing heavily in them. I find the players that develop the most from the beginning to the end of the season are those that are open to seeing where they need help and being willing to do the hard work of improving.
The player that stunts his or her development the most blames others for their lack of improvement and performance. Whoever is “in front” of them is the target for the blame, be it the referee (who is blind or bias), the coach (who doesn’t have a clue), or teammates (who play horribly).
The problem is not that those criticisms are inaccurate; the problem is that all the energy that goes to blaming others depletes the reservoir of energy necessary to do the hardest work of all: looking in the mirror and being honest.
This issue of “development” is true in every arena. The workplace. Intimate relationship. Church.
When we focus on others as the cause of our difficulties and shortcomings we steal from our future development. Our insecurity increases. Our defensiveness shoots up. And we grow increasingly distant from the possibility of change.
A precursor to renewal, to true transformation, is the elimination of blame.
