[Vulnerability & Power - XXIII]
I don’t like the trite advice, “Choose joy,” as if joy is a retail option at a grocery store. Joy is not a commodity or a consumable product or a “state of mind.”
We choose our emotions about as much as we choose our body temperature. Changing it, if at all possible, is temporary and superficial.
If we choose anything related to joy, we choose to bear open our inclination to be safe, protected, and sealed off from harm. “Choosing joy” is hard work: we must reckon with our expectations for disaster, pain, or tragedy. Joy is not the antithesis of our tendency to forebode joy, but it is the willingness to explicitly name it.
By calling out our tendency to pay a premium for a lower deductible on our car insurance because “I guarantee I’ll get in an accident this year,” we free ourself to be thankful for the many commutes we’ve made safely.
Expecting disaster protects us from being surprised, but it also inhibits us from the vulnerable posture of thankfulness and ultimately joy.
We don’t "choose joy” but we must choose to be honest about our fear of vulnerability, our aversion to surprise, and the fortress we build around us when we expect the worst. All of this repels joy.
