Sustained Closeness

[Birth & Babies - IV]

When a baby is born it is technically a stranger. The parents have not met the baby until that very moment. But they fully embrace the baby, hold it to their chest, smother it with affection, and shed tears of joy.

Why is there no safe, small talk first?
Why not a meet-and-greet time?
Shouldn’t the parents hold the baby at a distance before getting to know him better?

That’s ludicrous.

A newborn is not a threat. It’s entirely trustworthy, even if it can only be trusted to wet a diaper and cry when it’s hungry. But if those are the only reasons parents are immediately intimate with a newborn, then I—unthreatened by and trusting of your baby—should feel the same way. And I don’t.

The other reason is that the parents have journeyed for months and months with the newborn. Of course, they didn’t see the baby before their first meeting, but they’ve sustained closeness and cared for him the entire gestation. And from that we can learn a lot.

Intentional proximity and care are the kryptonite of “otherness”, exclusion, prejudice, and even hostility. Sustained closeness is the best means by which differences are overcome.