Grieving Old Worlds

[Coronavirus - VII]

The passing away of the way things were—old systems, old beliefs, old worlds—is a massive loss. As a loss, it causes enormous pain. Pretending it doesn’t only inflates the hurt. Numbing the hardship only encourages the grief to come out in different, more unhealthy ways.

It’s time for public grief. Of individual victims of this virus, but also of the way things were.

We must—partly forced and partly by choice—bury the old world with its expectations and assumptions about what’s normal. And that means we must fully grieve its loss. Grief presents itself in different ways to different folks, and it doesn’t necessarily follow prescribed stages. It does include accepting its permanence, fully feeling the emotions surrounding the loss, and embracing the emergence of a new normal.

Each aspect of grief must be facilitated with care, taken slowly, and given as much space as necessary to rear its head and be heard. Any silencing, hurrying, or judgment prolongs the grief and augments the symptoms.

So, grieving the lost world that is behind us will be messy, will need plenty of space, and will need symbols and language and ritual and liturgy to properly be put to rest. (If that sounds weird, think of the needs of someone that has just lost a loved one. All the same needs apply.)

In the coming months, we will need to say our goodbyes.